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[a_sin_for_him]

It's odd, isn't it, how having a personal claim to a place can make it something more than just a building or room?

[Lust's tone and expression are thoughtful, rather than puzzled.]

I've stayed and lived in dozens and dozens of places, but they never meant anything. They were just that - places to stay, a point to return to. Even the pleasant or almost-permanent ones weren't particularly noteworthy and made little impression on me.

Why does choosing and laying claim to a place as yours suddenly make all the difference? It's such a strange quirk of emotions. Is it normal, to form some sort of emotional attachment to a place just because you've decided it's going to be your 'home'?

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[cawsforalarm]

Um, you know... I'm not sure!

[Henry's not very good at being a human either, sorry to say.]

I mean, I've stayed in plenty of different places too, but I didn't get all mushy about them. Except for, like... one.

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[a_sin_for_him]

Was it a place that you had some greater claim to than others? Or simply some emotional attachment to due to something that happened there?

I can see how that would inspire feelings for a place.

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[cawsforalarm]

Uh, well, yeah... it was a place that belonged to someone I really liked. She was basically my mom.

That was years ago, though, and it hasn't happened since.

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[a_sin_for_him]

That makes sense, that form of familiar attachment is a strong one, or so I understand.

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[cawsforalarm]

Yeah, I guess! I'm not really too good at this.

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[a_sin_for_him]

Not good at what, exactly?

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[cawsforalarm]

Feelings and emotional attachments and stuff. I just do what I do, I don't really get why.

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[a_sin_for_him]

That's alright, I'm not either.

But I'm trying to learn.

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[cawsforalarm]

How? What are you doing?

...Just curious.

[you're not fooling anyone henry]

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[a_sin_for_him]

Talking to other people about emotions. Writing down how I feel about things and people in a journal. Reading books and watching movie programs. Things like that.

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[cawsforalarm]

Sounds tough.

[No sarcasm; it does sound tough for him.]

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[a_sin_for_him]

It is. But worth it, I think.

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[cawsforalarm]

[Henry blinks, and his smile drops.]

Is it? Really? I never really... felt like it improved my life in any way.

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[a_sin_for_him]

I think so. I understand my human companions better, as I understand my own emotions and reactions and feelings. I'm able to communicate better with them. Those things I consider to be worth it.

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[cawsforalarm]

...And what if you don't want to do that?

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[a_sin_for_him]

Then I don't think I'd bother trying.

But I think that I need these things, to fully understand myself.

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[cawsforalarm]

So you want to understand yourself, huh?

[He's quiet for a second.]

...I don't really want to.

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[a_sin_for_him]

I do. There's much of myself I don't know.

That's up to you. If you don't have any pressing desire to understand yourself, there's no point in pursuing it.

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[cawsforalarm]

Yeah. I guess you're right.

[He tries to smile again, but it's not coming easy.]

But most people do want to understand themselves, right?

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[a_sin_for_him]

I don't know. I'm not like most people. I want to understand myself because I don't remember much at all of being human the first time, even though that part of my existence was the longest part. That life is a mystery, all I have are the feelings. If I can understand them...

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[cawsforalarm]

Wait-- the first time?

Were you not human once?

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[a_sin_for_him]

Once upon a time I was a human woman in my home world. I don't remember much, because I died. And then someone tried to bring me back, but that's impossible. The closest that can be done is a homunculus, a created human made by science from the remains of the deceased that looks and sounds like the human who died. I think we do have memories, but...the details don't matter.

I remember that existence. Being a homunculus. I was told I didn't have feelings or a soul, and I was only an imitation of that woman. But I don't think that's true. I don't feel any different, inside, now that I've regained humanity. I have the same feelings, they're just stronger and more difficult to control.

And I have a chance now to understand them, why I feel them and what they mean. I want that chance.

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[cawsforalarm]

[Oh.]

[Ohhhhhh. Well, suddenly this makes a lot more sense.]

Wait... from the remains? Can you even do that? I thought homunculi had to be grown from scratch!

But, uh, that makes sense, I guess.

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[a_sin_for_him]

I'm here, so apparently you can. At least by the laws of alchemy and the arcanum in my world.

Of course more than that is needed, at least the way I was brought back into the world. Remains, trace elements, flesh of the man who made the attempt taken in trade by the forces that regulate the balance of nature. That's always a nasty little surprise.

There is a way to do it from scratch, using the chemical components of a human body and a different sort of transmutation. But the result is the same.

My quest for understanding is mine. You shouldn't feel as though you must seek introspection or change yourself, just because others do. If you're happy as you are, why try and fix something that doesn't need it?

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[cawsforalarm]

Well, I guess... yeah, you need something human to kickstart it... I just didn't know that the other limbs could grow back in the same exact way. Your world must have some pretty neat alchemy!

Also, why's the flesh of the creator a surprise? Drawing blood is common practice for, like, everything, at least where I come from.

[Guess who's spent his whole life in magic military school, Lust? This kid.]

Well, I dunno. Sometimes I feel like I should be, or I should at least want to. Because of growing up or whatever.