a_sin_for_him | IC Contact

Oh, he was good. This could be entertaining, after all.

"Mmm. Do we know the specials yet, or are we waiting for the server?"

Though she assumed that would just involve burgers that were more grease and paper than anything else. Really, even for take away... she was amazed there wasn't a costumed mascot singing a ditty in a corner.

Someone was quite adept at psychological warfare.

"Let me see."

JW carefully nudged the candle aside and pulled one of the coloring sheets up so that he was looking at the drawing-side of it. It depicted Sphealy trying to douse a Ponyta and JW did not know enough about either Pokemon to understand how that was kind of fucked up.

"Says here string potato with tartar and tomato pure' with..." He squinted, "Jesus Christ I didn't think they'd charge for ice in this place! I hope you appreciate this. I'm going through an awful lot of trouble for you."

He lowered the page to peer at her over top of it.

"Oh yes, I can see how terribly this is putting you out. You're clearly not comfortable in such a civilized establishment."

Lust's tone stayed even, friendly, but oh there was a bite behind it. She meets his eyes over the paper menu, hands folded demurely on the table in front of her.

"Let this be a learning experience for you, hmm?"

JW just rooolled his eyes and continued to pour over the pretend menu.

"I learned my lesson when I saw what you looked like under the cucumber."

He let that hang in the air for a moment before bringing a fist down on the plastic table.

"SERVICE! I demand service! Where's the waiter in this sham that calls itself a five-star restaurant?"

An exhausted, pimple-coated teen made his way over to their table with a Poliwag at his side. "Sir, this is a Sphealy's. We don't have waiters here, if you'd like to order, you'll need to--"

"Great! I'll have a cup of ice with double the lemon and for a drink I'd like another cup of ice chips." JW passed the coloring sheet to Lust, causing the young man to shift his gaze to her. As far as he knew, she was in on this bullshit.

Oh, this poor underpaid employee. Lust almost felt badly for him, he hadn't the faintest idea what he'd been roped into. But the poor fellow was a part of it now, and Lust wasn't about to be the first one to abandon...whatever bizarre competition is happening here.

"Well? You heard the man." But because she did have a heart.... "If you're prompt and agreeable with the service, there will be a generous tip in it for you. I guarantee it. And bring me...anything fizzy I can pour alcohol into."

Because she was going to need a little pick me up, to get through this entire encounter. And she was determined to last it out.

The teen opened his mouth to say that alcohol wasn't allowed in here but you know what?

You fucking know what?

He isn't paid enough for this.

"Yes ma'am," he said and disappeared into the back. Soon enough he returned with a colorful tray holding JW's two cups of ice and a large cherry fountain soda for Lust. By the time he returned, he was looking oddly less defeated because he had just realized that he was going to quit and train Stunfisk the way he'd always wanted but NO his mother wanted him to have a taste of the working world first, go to college, no time for whoopiee cushion fish. "Here you are! My name is Jesse and I'll be your waiter. If you need anything else, you just let me know."

"About damn time," was all JW had to say, unaware of the change they'd made in this young human's life. He took his cups of ice and plucked one of the lemons off the rim, proceeding to stick it right into his mouth.

"Now now, dear, there's no need to be rude."

Lust's voice takes on the chastising but affectionate tone of a woman mildly scolding a husband or long time partner. Because she's going to at least have fun with this, and one reaps what one sows.

And since the poor young man they've roped into their bizarre psycho drama has decided to play along, it makes it oh so easy.

"Bring us a pair of today's specials, if you'd be so kind." No further explanation, she's sure Mr. Jesse will return with something edible. Her eyes are glittering with dark humor and something akin to gleeful spite as she looks at JW over the 'menu'. "It's a very special occasion. We'd so greatly appreciate anything you and your fellow staff could do to make it more...celebratory. Publicly celebratory."

She'll consider herself the winner if she can get the damned employees to do that ridiculously embarrassing thing where they serenade a table with a royalty free knock off version of a popular song.

Jesse's gazed passed between them--from Lust's warm yet mischevious smile and James's hangdog frown. Hmm. He stood straight and all but gave Lust a scout salute.

"Yes ma'am! We'll--I'll be back soon."

And with that he was gone.

JW rolled his mismatched eyes from the space that Jesse previously occupied back to Lust. He poked the lemon into one cheek so he could speak. "You aren't going to win this."

"We'll see."

Lust was, if nothing else, up to the challenge. The battlefield may have been an odd one, and her opponent...unusual, but those were trivial details. It was a matching of minds and patience.

"You've no idea who you've engaged in your little games. And you're already thrown off and sulky because you've failed to ruffle or frustrate me so far. I think that puts me in the lead?"

For the moment, anyhow. While she'd spoken true, she was in the same position. She knew next to nothing about this man - besides that he was shameless.

"You haven't thrown me off!" JW leaned across the table, planting his elbows on one of the other coloring sheets so that he was up in Lust's personal bubble again. "And I'm not sulking! I haven't even started to try."

He moved the lemon around in his mouth until it was in front of his teeth like a football player's mouth guard. He held her eyes with his and bit down on it without flinching.

"Ready!" Jesse had reappeared with the tiny staff of Sphealy's behind him. They were all wearing party hats--one of which was promptly snapped onto JW's pointy head. Jesse brought a kazzoo to his lips as one of the other staff members, an older lady, slid their trays onto the table. They hadn't had any candles so there were just french fries that were currently on fire jammed into the tops of their burgers.

JW's eyes slid to Jesse and his crew as lemon juice dribbled down his chin and balled his hands into fists.

Lust wasn't watching the staff with their attempt at a proper celebratory offering. She was watching JW, her smile pleasant but not touching her eyes. This was better than she'd anticipated - she needed to tip young Jesse well, he'd performed beyond expectation.

In her mind, she'd won. He couldn't possibly come back with something to top this. What was left? She certainly couldn't think of anything, and assumed therefor that he couldn't either.

"How delightful." Her gaze still locked on JW, her hands folded demurely on the table before her. "Do enjoy it, dear."

After the initial kazoo toot, the song began. It was a simple cheery tune themed around Spheals and birthdays and the entire staff was entirely too into it with Lust and JW being the only two people in the restaurant. As the song reached its climax, JW drew in a deep breath and spat out the lemon.

He brought both hands down on the table, upsetting one of the burgers with its flaming french fry candle and causing the flame to spread down the wrapper and onto the coloring sheets.

"I. WANT. A DIVORCE!" He bellowed it so loudly that one of the taped-up charity pages on the wall behind the counter fell down. JW glowered at Lust through the flames, this time baring his real teeth instead of the lemon rind.

Jesse nearly sucked his kazoo down his throat.

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