a_sin_for_him | IC Contact

It was the evening before Lust was set to leave for Goldenrod. Scar had just been starting to settle into the idea of living in the same place as her, and now she had to go return her job at the circus. It didn't really matter. For the longest time, they had kept in touch solely through the video chat function. He had a lot left to do around the cottage.

Now that he was faced with it, though, he didn't really want her to leave.

They hadn't verbally agreed upon it, but curling up on the couch for the night felt like the right thing to do. They had picked out a movie to stream and settled in with snacks after the Pokémon fell asleep. Scar was only half paying attention to the movie. This was really just time to relax with Lust, for him.

"Could you... pass me that?" He spoke up quietly as he reached across Lust for the popcorn.

"Hmm? Oh. Here." Lust shifted slightly and offered him the bowl. They hadn't been sharing this space very long, but already it felt so normal and natural. But she had to go back to work, October was one of the circus's busiest seasons, plus there was the Haunted House. And there was Wrath to tend to, and the Eeveelutions. Somehow, at some point she couldn't even remember, she'd stumbled into a very full life.

But it meant taking a break from this. Scar wasn't comfortable in Goldenrod - well, specific parts of it - right now and the cottage needed work anyway. That had been the plan from the beginning, dividing her time between Goldenrod and here.

She pressed a little bit closer.

Scar murmured a word of thanks as she passed the popcorn. This did feel normal. Waking up across the room from each other, fixing breakfast, doing chores, settling in for the night...

He felt that he was adjusting far better, this time around.

Scar rested his head lightly against hers when she leaned closer. His arm was wrapped around her, warding off the drafty late September air in the cottage. This was normal, too. Physical contact. He got the feeling that her would still be nervous of it in general, but after spending so much time with Lust, touching her wasn't so scary, anymore. He got a little more accustomed to it every time.

"Are you plans ironed out for tomorrow?" He was still barely paying attention to the television.

"Mmhmm. It should be a smooth trip." It was just between Violet and Goldenrod, and the weather was pleasant enough. Turning cold, but hardly an inconvenience to travel.

She was going to miss this. Slowly, as they spent more time together, everything just seemed natural and normal and easy. Even this, sitting against each other, his arm around her, was something that she would have considered outside the realm of possibility months ago.

She was hardly even paying attention to their movie - some feel good thing about a Growlithe and his new trainer, a hapless newlywed. The usual safe fluff she often picked for her and Scar to watch together. Even so, she wondered if she could convince him to watch another before bed. Just to stay like this as long as they could.

Scar nodded lightly against her head. He'd just go back to living alone, then. He didn't want to ask her how long she thought she would be gone; he didn't want to seem... desperate. But he did wish the circus could just come here instead of to the big city.

That was when Scar glanced up to the TV for the first time in several minutes to see a... spectacle unfolding on the screen. Or, at least what he would deem a spectacle. The people he had come to assume were the main characters were... kissing each other. Quite enthusiastically. Alone. Scar opened his mouth to speak, but it was several seconds before any words actually formed:

"Why are they doing that?" PEOPLE PUT THIS ON TELEVISION? ACTUALLY??

Lust turned to actually look at the television, confused....oh.

"Because they're newlyweds, I'd guess." And that was what people who were in love and attracted to each other did. Usually. "This seems a bit...much for a family film."

Both parties were fully dressed, but...she was relatively certain tongues were involved.

Scar suddenly felt exceptionally awkward sitting her with Lust in his arms. He fidgeted a bit, not wanting to be overly obvious by pulling away from Lust, but it did leave the situation uncomfortable. Scar couldn't just pretend the parallels didn't exist.

"Is this supposed to be entertainment? Why would...?" He had so many questions. "Is this common?"

"In television and movies geared to adults, yes." It was ridiculously common. "They're just kissing, these scenes usually don't last long. And this is rated all audiences, so they can't do anything more."

Thank god. She didn't think she could manage to sit here and not squirm in that case.

"It's just a narrative device to make the audience invested in their romance."

Scar only grumbled as he shifted on the couch to face pointedly away from the television. That was when he realized-

"Are you saying they have television shows 'for adults' where people have sex in front of the camera? And people are perfectly comfortable casually watching it?"

A WHOLE NEW WORLD OF ENTERTAINMENT, SCAR.

"Movies, and it's clearly not actual sex." That much was obvious, at least to her. She was relatively certain that humans in this world didn't have genitals somewhere in the vicinity of their knees or navels.

"But there are plenty of films with mature ratings that are filled with cursing and violence and sex. It's visceral, vicarious entertainment. I don't particularly enjoy it, but there are people that do." She shrugged. "Enough that every other movie seems to have some form of intimate scene in it."

"How is that entertaining?" Scar thought aloud, still staring pointedly at the wall. It just didn't make sense to him. Conflict was necessary for interest, but... violence wasn't entertaining. And was everyone truly okay with sitting in a room full of people while watching characters pretend to have sex?

And yet, his eyes drifted slowly back over the to screen out of some difficult to place fixation.

"It's like I said, vicarious entertainment. The audience can get the thrill of the act without participating in it in real life." She could understand why people enjoyed it.

"We can skip past it, if you'd like."

And here she'd thought maybe they were moving to a place where they could be more physically intimate with each other. Scar's reaction to a pair of actors intensely kissing on television wasn't bolstering that hope much.

"I do not care for 'vicarious entertainment,'" he said, not really giving an answer. It was curious, but he still felt strange watching it. He was still curled up against her, though. That was a good sign.

"Neither do I. But some people don't have any other option."

Lust strove to keep any implications out of her voice. The last thing she wanted was a misunderstanding or disagreement the night before she left.

But she wanted him to kiss her. She'd never wanted anyone to just hold her and kiss her and stroke her hair, but she wanted him to. And maybe just...touch her a bit. Sometimes when she looked at him or smelled him, she started to ache in her breasts.

...What was that supposed to mean? Scar felt an uncomfortable lurch in his chest when he processed the indirect implication of what she just said. It was like he'd just been called out.

He backed away, far enough to loosen their contact and look at her, his own expression perplexed and flustered and almost a little hurt. What had he done wrong??

Nothing that came to mind felt right to say, so he just remained silent.

She'd tried. Damnit!

"Scar, no. I didn't mean anything by it, not anything bad anyway." She sighed lightly and tilted her head, wishing he wasn't giving her that look. She wasn't trying to put him down, just remind him that he did have the option.

She could never tell how he felt about that aspect of their relationship at any given time.

"I only meant...you could. If you wanted to."

Another moment of gaping while he fished for words.

"I..." Another moment of struggling before... "Both times."

Nailed it.

Edited 2015-10-05 03:05 (UTC)

"No, I meant...right now."

Lust grimaced a little at her own lack of eloquence. She was trying to get better at communicating things to Scar, but when it came to their physical relationship, it was still difficult for some reason.

"Or...at least more often. I just mean I wouldn't be averse to making a habit of it. If you wanted to."

"Then... do not wait for me to initiate things." Scar's own words were broken up and disjointed. For all the trouble Lust had with the subject, he tripped over it all even more.

Holding her suddenly seemed inappropriate for the moment. He returned his arm to his own side, then immediately started questioning if that had been the right thing to do. His throat was tight with nerves, and he struggled to meet her gaze. He was turning inward again, eyes forced shut as he recognized his own defenses going back up without his control.

"I know that I am not... physically gratifying to be with, but if it bothers you, at least mention it..."

"Scar, that isn't what I meant." Lust took a deep breath and shifted on the couch, so she was facing him.

"We've neither of us ever been in this sort of position before. I know you have your concerns. I have my own. I worry about being too pushy, or misreading your mood, or giving the impression that being physical means more to me than it does or that I want more than I actually do. But I have thoughts and feelings sometimes, I can't help it. You're appealing and I'm...human."

She shrugged and let out a small chuckle.

"This is all new to me, strange as it seems. I don't know how to just...be physical with someone for the sake of affection. I'm not used to wanting someone to just kiss me."

Or do anything to her, really, but she was trying to stress that was really all she had in mind.

The tension Scar had taken on in his shoulders relaxed. She had become quite adept at saying just the right thing, though he hadn't fully noticed that yet. He was slouched forward, elbows resting on his knees as he turned to look at her, earnest now.

"You know that I am not averse to that, right?" TWICE!!

"Sometimes I don't know if you are at the moment the feelings hit," she admitted. "You're naturally hard to read in general, and there were...circumstances, both times. The last thing I want to do is initiate that when you aren't in the mood. There's nothing enjoyable about it if you aren't in the mood."

She knew that full well.

"But I find you very handsome, and I like to think about kissing you, sometimes. I do think about those times."

Often.

Scar felt like hiding his face in his hands, but he resisted the urge. He did return to staring at the floor, though.

"Okay-" He didn't mean to cut her off, but he wasn't keen on getting the details. But this all seemed far simpler to Scar, if he was honest.

"Then, either we have this uncomfortable conversation every time you wish to, or you do what you think feel is right and trust that I will respond how I feel is right."

"I just worry about causing problems." Things were so good between them right now. But she reached for his hand. "I worry too much, remember?"

Scar took another careful breath as he took her hand in both of his.

"I will let you know, then, if something is wrong." He looked back up to her, then, with reserved earnest.

"I can manage for myself." It wasn't an angry statement, just... a true one, for the most part. He didn't need to be coddled, and sometimes it felt as if Lust were constantly tiptoeing around him.

action - night before Lust leaves for Goldenrod

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