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[a_sin_for_him]

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If it's important enough, I'll get back to you.

Comments

[brokencode]

Okay, but...
Neither of us have ever done something like this. He's my first partner, after all. But I don't want to keep him waiting, you see.

[a_sin_for_him]

Oh you mean physically.

To start with, no one is ever 'keeping anyone waiting' in that regard. It's not the purpose of a relationship, it's simply something two people choose to do when they're ready. It's not something one does to check off a box or keep someone interested. Timothy and I didn't even bother for years.

[brokencode]

Years? :O
I didn't know you could do that.
I mean, I suppose I did as I know there are some people who aren't interested in that kind of intimacy, period. But... Still that's incredible.
And neither of you minded?

[a_sin_for_him]

Years. Two of them.

I had never been with anyone in this life before, not like that. The man I was with before Timothy wasn't ready, and I was quite happy to wait. And I still wasn't ready, when Timothy and I agreed to pursue a relationship. Neither was he, as it happened. It was never some pressure looming over us, we were quite happy with casual intimacy and growing close emotionally. In many ways it's more meaningful to simply be able to be quiet and vulnerable with someone else, to tell them the things you aren't prone to sharing with others. Emotional intimacy is the true mark of a relationship.

And we talked about it, beforehand, to be certain it was what we both wanted. Communication is very important. Have you and your young man discussed it at all?

[brokencode]

I suppose that makes sense.
And for the record, Armin is not making me feel pressured by any stretch of the imagination. I am just... trying to be conscious of all of these things that relationships are supposed to be. I spent a lot of time reading about them when I was younger but... Naturally given my circumstances, I was unable to.

Maybe we are not so different, really.

Still, it's good to know that I don't have to rush into that. I... don't think I would mind being that close to him but... In time.

[a_sin_for_him]

There's something very important I've learned in my time here.

I've done the same. Read and seen in film how human relationships 'are'. I had it in my mind for so long how things were SUPPOSED to be. But there is no 'supposed to'. There aren't any universal rules, there's no series of magic steps one takes and that's all there is to it. It's whatever works for the people involved and that's all. Timothy and my's relationship is hardly how the books say it should be - we didn't even have a wedding, we simply agreed at a hotel bar that we're married now. We aren't terribly verbally affectionate in traditional ways, we don't...exchange romantic admissions or anything like that. But I wouldn't want anything else, it's perfect for us.

You and your young man simply need to discover what's perfect for you. Physical intimacy when there's emotion involved...it's a very powerful thing. And nothing to rush into until you're certain you're ready.

[brokencode]

You know. You really are the smartest person I know. Please do not tell Armin that, though I am sure he might agree.

I'll remember this. And remember not to rush. And I know he will not rush either but maybe I can remind him of that, too. Maybe. Or maybe it will embarrass him.

Thank you, though. So much.