a_sin_for_him | IC Contact

The ones lost don't matter, it's the ones still ahead that do.

It seems like such a strange idea to me, changing so much over so long a time.

It would be even stranger if it happened quickly. I never really thought about it.

[Likely because everything fell apart right at that time, but he doesn't mention that. He's only just begun recognizing it himself. Maybe that's been his issue all along. He never really did grow up. Not properly, anyway. A sadness crosses his face, when it dawns on him.]

That is far easier said than practiced.

Quick makes more sense to me. It's easy, getting a start in the same shape you'll always be.

Almost everything is, I'm finding. [Lust's voice grows quiet.] It's frightening, in a way, isn't it? All that unknown and indeterminable future ahead?

[Scar only offers a slight shrug at that. He would argue that coming into being like that simply isn't natural, but he can recognize that that wouldn't be the right thing to say, right now.]

I haven't known any other way of living. From one day to the next.

[Not in a long, long time.]

It frightens me. I don't have any real goals, there's no path to follow. It's just days after days after days stretching out, so empty and so vast with unknowable potential that it's overwhelming.

I've never lived like this before.

[Scar pauses for a moment, watching her and frowning.]

Do you have no goals you wished to pursue when you became human?

[It's an honest question. She hasn't thought about what she wants to do with her life? Even now?]

I did, back home, when I was under the belief my humanity would be different than this.

Now...I don't know anymore. Not in any long term sense.

Then maybe you ought to consider what those goals were, and adapt them to something attainable here.

I have, in a way. But even back home....

I thought it would all just fall into place. I was so sure of how it would all go, and the reality's nowhere near.

[This is difficult to talk about with Scar, considering he was her goal. And still is, in a way, but she knows she needs more than that to make a filled life.]

Nothing ever just falls into place.

[He says that quietly, almost like he's commiserating.]

It comes down to deciding whether that goal is worth it or not. Or even realistic in the first place.

Something I'm learning through experience.

It's worth it. Whether or not it's realistic...I suppose I'll just have to see.

...This would be easier if you would tell me what sort of thing it is you want.

[He doesn't want to directly ask, but...]

Not necessarily.

Are you sure you want me to say it?

Unless there is some reason I shouldn't hear...

[He watches her with an uncertain frown. It's her goal, he doesn't see how he could possibly be offended by it in whatever way, or why she would even think that.]

I don't want to make you uncomfortable.

[Lust pauses, pursing her lips in thought.]

When I'm done with my trip, or if somehow another chance before then presents itself, could we meet with one another?

I asked. I don't see why...

[He trails off, still uncertain and... slowly beginning to regret asking. The question seems slightly out of nowhere.

But only slightly. Even he isn't completely clueless.]

We could.

I'd like that.

Thank you.

[He is rather nervous about the direction this conversation has suddenly taken, and answers with a small nod.]

When are you... coming back?

[Not that he's been wondering or anything.]

I'm not sure. A few months, maybe. There's a great deal to see.

[Lust strives to keep the conversation light, despite the undertones that have crept in.]

And I've been thinking of trying to earn a badge or two.

[Scar resists pointing out that it's already been a month, though his surprise and displeasure that it's going to be that much longer is evident, for a moment.]

I tried, a while back. I don't see much of a point, really.

Have you thought of taking any long trips?

[She's not going to outright suggest that he can always head in her direction, so they can see each other sooner.]

I honestly don't either, but it's suggested that there are some benefits.

I have move as it has been necessary. I prefer to travel slowly.

[He's spent the past ten years of his life traveling because he's had no choice. He is going to take things slowly, now that he can afford to.]

There's money involved, but you don't need that.

I was just thinking that maybe you could travel in my direction, and we could meet up sooner. We aren't going very fast, either. It's pleasant, just to go from place to place slowly.

And I suppose there's some manner of prestige in it.

I could...

[He's back to plain ol' frowning, because it's the easiest thing to do.]

If you would prefer.

If we both prefer.

Don't do it just because I want you to.

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