[Which is part of why what had happened was so embarrassing.]
[It felt like asking the waitress to go ahead and grate some pepper onto your pasta only to hurl the plate across the restaurant like a discus and take off running.]
And as for saying what I'd like, it's like... I don't... really know. What I'd like, I mean.
Even if it's something I want, like, in the abstract... it's like all I can think about is just... stuff I'd rather forget. Stuff I thought I'd already dealt with. Stuff I didn't... know would make me feel this way. Like I'm-- dirty, or something.
no subject
I mean, that's kind of what I did.
The permission part, anyway...
[Which is part of why what had happened was so embarrassing.]
[It felt like asking the waitress to go ahead and grate some pepper onto your pasta only to hurl the plate across the restaurant like a discus and take off running.]
And as for saying what I'd like, it's like... I don't... really know. What I'd like, I mean.
Even if it's something I want, like, in the abstract... it's like all I can think about is just... stuff I'd rather forget. Stuff I thought I'd already dealt with. Stuff I didn't... know would make me feel this way. Like I'm-- dirty, or something.